a psychic break


I first saw Bikini Kill in 1995 or 1996 in San Francisco when the band
was touring with Sonic Youth. Looking back now, I am not even sure if
what I am about to describe happened at the SF show at all, or if I
read about it, or what, but I (think I saw) Kathleen turn around and
show her cellulite, and say something like “this isn’t television. I
have cellulite.” For some reason that gesture and comment created what
can only be called…. a psychic break. I was an Ivy League educated
girl with a masters who had been exposed to a lot of critical theory
and oppositional ideas, but I never really got them in a way until
then. It’s hard to explain…. It was painful. But I realized then
about the oppressive forces acting on me…. All of a sudden, I
realized my own vulnerability and strength…. the powers that be, the
categories I live in… and somehere in there also my own defiance and
ability to have other reality. What a great performer, artist…. what
a great and special mind! I think that is my most special BK memory,
though it may in some sense be apocryphal since I don’t know if I just
read about the cellulite presentation, or if it was at that San
Fran…. show. Thank you Bikini Kill! Thank you Kathleen!

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